You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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