think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
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