me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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