wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
