after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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