Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
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