i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
