saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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