i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Randomize
