So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Watching her eat just hurts me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
