i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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