Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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