Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
