What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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