I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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