i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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