You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
