he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
