There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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