dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
