i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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