you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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