I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
