I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
