im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
