Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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