Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
