i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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