My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
