Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
