Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
