so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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