But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Can you bring me the toilet please
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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