toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I lost the right to judge tonight
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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