I'm passing your future prison.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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