ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
