I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
