So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
not ubering you a puppy
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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