Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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