Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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