if you like me you must not know who I am
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
