it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
