i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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