yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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