I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
