Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
