Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
