I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize
