dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
