The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
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