just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
